NOW CASTING for an OLIVIA NEWTON-JOHN-type actor to play BITSY MAE HARLING, a Featured Role in our upcoming production of SORDID LIVES! Bitsy is a guitar-playing ex-con singer who belts this theme song and a few hymns "(Just As I Am," "In the Sweet By and By," etc.). Oh, and she may or may not be a lesbian. INTERESTED? Email your resume & headshot to firstname.lastname@example.org.